You know those days your fat ass is in bed all day like the piece of shit you are? And you want freshly baked muffins but you’re too lazy and/or incompetent to make any? And there’s nobody around you to make them for you because nobody loves you? That’s when mug muffins come into play. They’re made from a simple mugcake base recipe, and you can then add whatever flavor and sweetener you have at hand. Just sugar for a plain sponge cake flavor. Maple syrup and berries for a finer product. It’s so quick and so tasty that you might end up eating several ones in a row, all with their own amazing flavor combinations. And then you’ll get back into bed and keep contemplating about what a fat piece of shit you are.

Ingredients for base

  • 3 tbsp of plain flour (the less protein the better, you’re making cake here not bread)
  • 3 tbsp of butter (it’s an approximation, better a little too much than too little)
  • 1-2 tbsp of sugar (depending on if you plan on adding other sweet ingredients for flavoring)
  • 1/4 tbsp of baking powder
  • 3 tbsp milk
  • Pinch salt

Flavoring variations

  • Blueberries + maple syrup
  • Banana + Nutella
  • Apple + cinnamon + dulce di lecce

Instructions

  1. Get a mug
  2. Melt the butter in the mug using a microwave oven
  3. Add all other ingredients except the final flavoring. Mix until no (few) lumps. It’s very liquid. That’s a good thing in this case.

Now choose your mugcake toppings…

  1. Add e.g 1/4th sliced banana and Nutella. Bake in microwave for about 2 minutes (depending on your microwave).apple dulce de leche mugcake
  2. Or a handful of blueberries, frozen or not, and bake for 2 minutes in your microwave. Then pour maple syrup on top. Succulent as fuck. Eat.blueberry mugcake
  3. Grate a third of an apple into the batter. Sprinkle some cinnamon in there. A spoonful of dulce di lecce (you can buy ready made or make some by boiling a can of condensed sweetened milk for a long time, or 30 minutes in a pressure cooker but you’re lazy so you won’t make any yourself and we both know it). Microwave for 2 minutes. Eat your mugcake.banana nutella mugcake
  4. If you own no sweet flavoring, add half a teaspoon of more sugar into the initial recipe. Experiment with various spices. Cardamom, cinnamon, lemon zest and juice, it all makes a great microwave mug muffin.

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